社会課題と向き合う起業家のための
事業拡大サービスを始めました。

「死にたい」から救われて

川真田夕起

大阪大学文学部日本学専修3年。ロングスリーパーでその名の通り朝に弱い。意識高い系は苦手。基本的には引きこもり体質にもかかわらず、ときたま大胆すぎる行動に出てしまい、おかげでtalikiのメディア編集長に就任するはめになる。武器はフットワークの軽さだが、おかげで財布も常に軽い。

talikiに入って、社会課題の解決に取り組んでいる人たちと出会うようになった。

先日開催したkokokara未来会議というイベントでも意識の高い学生たち、メンターさんたち、社会人の皆様と出会って、すごいなー、と思った。

それと同時に、こうも思った。

 

『そもそもなんで社会課題の解決ってやらなあかんの?』

 

talikiに入るまで、毎日ぼーっと生きていて、大したこともやってなくて、自己肯定感も低いただの無能だったわたしは、

今でもときどき真剣にそう思う。悩む。

 

たしかに「もっと世の中こうなったらいいのに」と思うことはある。

でも、それってわたしがやることなの?とか。

それって解決できるの?とか。

べつに今のままでもいいんじゃない?とか。

それやったところでほんとに誰かが幸せになるの?とか。

それ解決したところで、ほかの問題がいっぱいでてくるんじゃないの?とか。

なんとなく、逃げの姿勢を作ってしまう。

 

高校生のとき、演劇部に入っていたわたしは、いじめを扱った脚本を書いたことがあるのだが、

脚本を読んだ他校の演劇部員に「これやって何になるんですか?今更いじめの話やって、いじめってなくなると思いますか?」と言われたことがある。

そのとき妙にイラっとして、いじめがなくなるわけない、そもそもいじめをなくそうとか思って書いてない、と反論したのだけれど、

いやぁいじめなんてなくせるわけないでしょ、と今も思っている。

 

talikiに入って、この世の中にはそれはもう死ぬほどたくさんの社会課題があることを知った。

ときどき絶望する。

『こんなんどんだけかかっても解決すんの無理や』

『つらい思いしてる人がいるのわかってて助けに行かないわたしって最低や』

『人間なんか生きてるだけで罪や、みんなまとめて死んだほうがましや』

そう思う。

talikiミーティングの様子。

社会課題の解決なんてきれいごとだとか思う。

わたしはわたしの目に入る範囲がそれなりに幸せだったらいいんだとか思う。

全部見なかったことにしてぬくぬく生きていきたい、と。

 

でも、振り返ってみたら、わたしの目に入る範囲すべてが幸せだったことって、ないな、と気づいた。

next page → 死にたくても死ねない、ということ

25 COMMENTS

g all

Greetings! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I really enjoy reading through your
blog posts. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that
deal with the same topics? Thanks a ton!

g also

Quality articles is the main to attract the people to pay a
visit the web site, that’s what this web site is
providing.

g from

Fine way of telling, and nice piece of writing to obtain information about my presentation subject, which i am going to deliver in college.

but g

You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really
something which I think I would never understand.
It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me.
I’m looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!

www.hxjyl.com

I really like it when individuals get together and share opinions.
Great blog, continue the good work!

tinyurl.com

Aw, this was a very nice post. Spending some time
and actual effort to make a very good article…
but what can I say… I put things off a lot and never seem to get anything
done.

tinyurl.com

Howdy, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and
i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam feedback?
If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can advise?
I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any support is very much appreciated.

www.etlik.net

I’ve read several just right stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for
revisiting. I wonder how so much attempt you place to make any such great informative web site.

http://tinyurl.com/ya3bucxu

Hello, i think that i saw you visited my website
thus i came to “return the favor”.I am attempting
to find things to enhance my site!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!

cbd oil that works 2020

Hi, I do think this is a great website. I stumbledupon it 😉 I
will return once again since I bookmarked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to
change, may you be rich and continue to guide other people.

cbd oil that works 2020

I like the valuable information you supply for your articles.
I’ll bookmark your weblog and take a look at again right here regularly.

I’m quite sure I’ll learn plenty of new stuff right right here!
Best of luck for the next!

cbd oil that works 2020

What’s up to every one, the contents existing at this web page
are genuinely awesome for people experience, well,
keep up the good work fellows.

cbd oil that works 2020

hello!,I like your writing very a lot! proportion we communicate extra about your post on AOL?
I require a specialist on this house to solve my problem. May be that’s you!
Taking a look forward to peer you.

cbd oil that works 2020

Hello, i think that i noticed you visited my
weblog thus i got here to return the favor?.I’m attempting to to
find things to enhance my website!I suppose its adequate to
make use of some of your ideas!!

Marcelle Darga

I simply want to tell you that I’m beginner to blogs and absolutely liked you’re web page. Likely I’m planning to bookmark your site . You absolutely come with great articles and reviews. Appreciate it for sharing your website page.

Hosea Vaiko

I simply want to tell you that I am beginner to blogging and seriously loved you’re blog. Very likely I’m going to bookmark your site . You surely have superb articles. Cheers for sharing your blog.

Marcelle Darga

I just want to say I am just beginner to blogging and site-building and certainly liked this web-site. Probably I’m likely to bookmark your blog . You absolutely come with remarkable stories. Many thanks for sharing with us your website.

buy womens viagra online

I discovered your blog website on google and also examine a few of your early articles. Remain to keep up the very good operate. I simply extra up your RSS feed to my MSN Information Viewers. Seeking forward to learning more from you later on!?

CBD Oil for sale

Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely comeback.

コメントを残す

メールアドレスが公開されることはありません。